Honestly? Choosing to stay at The Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki just may be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make your life.
It’s a fantastic property centrally located in the heart of Waikiki. The views from the ocean-facing rooms are nothing short of epic.
It’s expensive though, so I recommend bringing your most baller credit card (the one with the highest spending limit). A willingness to spend money like it’s your last night alive will help.
A full review of my one night stay at The Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Waikiki
Note: this was one of the first hotels established in Waikiki. The original structure still exists, but they’ve since added on another building (the Mialani Tower).
Booking a room in the original building will get you a “Historic” room. Booking a room in the Mialani Tower will give you a more modern room. I chose a room in the Mialani Tower.
Location
The Royal Hawaiian is located just off of Kalakaua Ave in central Waikiki (just a five minute walk from the equally-historic Moana Surfrider Hotel). However, it’s situated off the main road in a very densely-wooded area. You’re not going to see it from the street.
Even if you’re all sorts of pissed off from not being able to find this hotel from the street, I can guarantee that you’ll be happy as hell once you reach the main entrance. Welcome to The Royal Hawaiian! See? I’m not even mad.
The lobby (and checking in)
I thought the lobby of the Hilton Waikiki Beach Hotel was impressive, but it’s got nothing on The Royal Hawaiian. The lobby of this hotel is easily one of the most impressive in all of Hawaii IMHO.
The check in process though? The staff was super kind and helpful, but it was as slow as molasses.
That negativity you were feeling earlier? Don’t be surprised if it comes roaring back during the check in process (it took me exactly 17 minutes and 28 seconds to reach the reception desk from this point). The mental stillness of a North Shore surfer bro waiting for an epic wave may be required. I have two suggestions for anyone whose blood would be boiling at this point: First, chill the F out. You’re in Hawaii. Second, use the time that you have to look around and appreciate how amazing the lobby is. Would you have even noticed this if the check in process was immediate? Hotel management: “Does anybody have any ideas for making the check in process better for our guests?”Intern from the mainland: “I know! Spend $3 billion to make the lobby as mesmerizing (and distracting) as possible!”Hotel management: “F’n brilliant.”
Getting to my room
The process of getting to my room was one of the most impressive things about this experience. It required walking through the central courtyard, which was an event in and of itself. Welcome to freakin’ Hawaii!
Getting to the Mailani Tower requires walking through this café. Good luck avoiding eye contact with the staff as you contemplate the pros and cons of grabbing a slice of the delicious looking banana bread to go.From there, it’s a beautiful walk down this covered terrace through the courtyard. If you’re still all kinds of pissed off at this point, I can’t help you.Challenge: I dare you to show me a nicer walk to a hotel room from any review you’ve seen here on ScottLeazenby.com. $20 says you can’t do it!I mean, this is the view you’ll have while waiting for the freakin’ elevator. I think I’m starting to understand this whole “Royal” thing.Arrival on the 8th floor (moments after stepping off the elevator). It’s amazing that I’m still able to walk from being hit so hard over the head with all that beauty downstairs. Hallway carpet check: looks Hawaiian. Not very Royal though.Room 8004 is mine for the night! Considering how much I paid for this reservation, I had better see (and smell…and taste) Pacific Ocean as soon as I open this door…
Room overview
I just couldn’t stay at The Royal Hawaiian without having an ocean view. Paying dearly for the privilege of seeing water from my room was absolutely worth it – despite wondering how I was ever going to financially recover from such a splurge.
I see ocean! I see ocean!“Damn I’m good.” Yeah, I spent far more than I should have for this, but… I’ll be damned if I don’t know how to choose a room with a view. I’ll show you the view in a moment, but first I need to show you the room (I mean, this is a hotel review after all). The verdict? You might as well just scroll down to the part about the view. The room is kind of lame IMHO.I don’t think I’ve been this disappointed with a hotel room in Hawaii since my Sheraton Princess Kaiulani review. But that view though! Just wait ’till you see that! Look. The sooner I show you the pictures of the (quite comfortable) king bed, the sooner I can get to the pics of the view. The TV and the desk. Only 7 more pictures to go until the view.Those of you who haven’t scrolled yet might be interested to know that the beachy / island vibes I was feeling in this room were the exact same as what I experienced in my room at the Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego a short while back. Make no mistake about it: this is very much a resort hotel catered to tourists who demand nothing but beach 24/7. Speaking of furniture, here’s the chaise lounge (that I didn’t even try). It looks comfy enough. But I wouldn’t know.Conflicted [kənˈfliktəd] – (adjective): having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings: “The contrast between the quality of the room and the quality of the view is leaving him conflicted (and ticked off at himself for not doing more research ahead of time).” The pillow situation? Not as good as the view. I can’t knock them for not trying to make this look nice though. It’s not terrible!FYI, the alarm clock in my room was running on Island Time. Double check that sh*t before relying on it 100%. Complementary bottled water and an in room refrigerator? Yes and hell yes. Finally, you know you’re in Hawaii when your hotel room key is a hot pink waterproof wristband. I wonder if this was another brilliant idea from the Intern?
The view
I don’t even have words to describe the view that I had from my room (other than it kicked the snot out of the view that I had from my room at the Vive Hotel located just down the road). I’m just going to let the pics speak for themselves:
Conflicted no more! Is that a really nice view of Waikiki Beach (and Diamond Head), or what?Only because it’s fun to be a critic, I will say that the noise from the outdoor patio area was fairly obnoxious until about 10 PM. Here’s what it looks like at night. Warning: you may not like this if you can’t stand the sounds of drunk tourists and mediocre cover bands making a ruckus below. #oldmanshakingfistatskyGood news for crotchety folks who complain about everything: not only is this balcony a perfect place to scowl at everyone having fun down there on the beach below (Grinch style), it’s also a very fine place to sit and remind yourself to chill the F out (because you’re in Hawaii). You might want to take a moment to appreciate the privacy as well.
The bathroom
Look. As long as the bathroom is sufficiently configured to successfully wash sand out of my junk, I’m cool with it. I deem this one to be sufficient for a hotel in the heart of Waikiki.
The bathroom (or as I like to call It, the place to wash sand out of your you-know-what).Congratulations! Consider yourself awesome for scrolling past the pics of the view. I’d bet nearly anything that most everyone else dipped out immediately after realizing that there were no bikini (or banana hammock) pics.Who needs bikinis and banana hammocks when your hotel room features a bathroom vanity that looks like this? (Don’t worry, that doesn’t make sense to me either). Complementary dental care kits, lotions, and soaps. All with Royal Hawaiian branding (of course). Scott toilet paper > Royal Hawaiian toilet paper. Just sayin’.Plot twist! The toilet was one of them fancy Japanese style toilets (the kind that gently rinses your junk while playing soothing music), so there was no need to rip open that fluffy roll of Scott. Oh well. It’s a fairly nice full-size tub and shower IMHO. No complaints from me. Are you man enough to wear this robe? The answer (matter how tough you think you are) is “you’re damn right I am.”And if you’re looking for the closet, it’s located in the bathroom. You’re welcome.
Pros and cons
So far, of all the hotels that I’ve stayed at in Waikiki, The Royal Hawaiian is one of my favorites. Not only is it one of the most historically significant hotels in the area, it’s also one of the most beautiful.
Pros
I say again: the beauty of this hotel (inside and out) cannot be understated.
You know it’s a good hotel when you get weak in the knees immediately upon stepping into the lobby for the first time.
The view of Waikiki Beach from the upper floor rooms is stunning.
Cons
The rooms are extremely basic for such a high priced hotel IMHO.
I’m not so sure I’d be willing to spend so much to stay here if I didn’t have a view of the beach from my room.
